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Hogspore News from the Ozarks
                                                             Hogspore News from the Ozarks     
                                                                                By Clet Litter
                                                          Days getting shorter, men adding fat

  We got a new Mom and Pop market in town what sells a few groceries, beer, wine, snacks, and bags of
ice. It don’t claim to have everything you need. Check out the new A to B Store.  

  Punkin asked me to take out the trash last night. On my way out of the house, I got to thinking about
my old school-days. I started liking girls in the fourth grade. That might sound a might young to some of
you, but you gotta know that by my third year in the fourth grade, I was 14 years old. When I made it to
the sixth grade, taking out the trash meant going out on a date with Luella Davidson.

  We all welcomed in fall last Friday. The daylight’s getting shorter every day and the men are starting to
add on fat for the long winter naps that are coming. The Muleberry County Fair that starts this Friday is
gonna help with the extra sustenance we’re gonna need. Bring on them Corn Dogs and Elephant Ears.
They’re capitalized out of respect.

  The Fair’s got a special booth set up for the menfolk and boys who are suffering from heartburn. They
got free antacid bubble drinks; I can’t say Alka Seltzer cause it’s a brand name like Kleenex, I mean facial
tissues. There’s also insulin injections, no charge, for them affected folks that want to enjoy the fried food
and not faint.

  This County Fair has a lotta new rides, specially for the older folks. I can’t wait to get Momma on
The Wild Sloth. It moves along about 2 miles per hour at heights of up to two feet. The good part is that
the thriller lasts three hours so the town’s adult grandchildren get to dump off Gramma for a while.

  I was watching some Hollywood news. The descendants of Lassie, the movie dog, are working at some
Bed and Breakfast establishments as Boarder Collies in El Paso.

  You can contact Clet at


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Bob Simpson
Largo, Florida
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