The most humorous newspaper column in the known world.
Hogspore Community News
Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson
Selling soap using a multi-level marketing
Jimmy Suspenders got himself a better job and he’s looking like new money with shiny wire braces on
his teeth. He’s sporting a new truck with a real dealership decal on the bumper. He said, “Clet, I’m selling
soap using a multilevel marketing system. I got this new dental work and a new truck on credit cause I
know I’m gonna make a ton of money.”
He invited me over to watch a movie about the great opportunity if I get involved. I’m gonna pass
on watching a film on multilevel marketing at Jimmy’s house. It don’t make much sense to me. Jimmy
only lives in a one-story home.
Mother Litter come over for Mother’s Day dinner yesterday. It just don’t get any better than
having Momma eat at our house. I always hope it will get better, but it never does. I wish we could find
something that she likes to eat more so she won’t have time to complain about how disappointed she is
at how I turned out.
She brought up how proud she is about my sister Sugar’s ongoing success in the nurses aid field.
I told Momma, “Someday, when you’re old and too feeble to make it out of bed, I could flip you over
better than my sister could.”
Garret Calmly works at the sawmill. He told me that they’re cutting more jobs than lumber now.
Garrett said, “I want my wife to find a job for when I get laid off but all she wants to do is gossip with
her friends. She says she’s gonna try to get hired on down at the Rumor Mill.”
Mumford Pickens says, “Songs are scrapbooks.”
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