Country Humor
The most humorous newspaper column in the known world.
                                          Hogspore Community News
                                                                 Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson
                                                           High tech rear view mirror for my truck

     I bought a high-tech 4-foot rear view mirror for my truck. Its got solar panels facing the windshield
with two speakers that run off my 8-track player in my dash.

     The new Gotcha Back 2017 gives me the time of day, which is something nobody else in this town
will give me. It tells the temperature outside and inside and turns on my windshield wipers if it’s raining.
It also shows me when it’s nighttime so I can switch on my lights.

     Turns out, I needed to add four cameras on the truck hood cause my new mirror hides the road in
front of me. I watch the road now from the monitor mounted on the steering wheel.

     Here’s a thought: Instead of a man, Adam shoulda been a dog. A female dog named Eve coulda
been his wife. They never woulda chomped on that apple and there ain’t anything happier than dogs
running up to meet the Creator when he comes home every night.

     That’s probably what the Big Guy did and there’s another better universe out there just for dogs.  We’
re still here, cause He never figured out how to delete us.

     Here’s a tip for married men who want to have an air conditioning system set up in their house. Make
sure to install the thermostat in an isolated hallway where your wife can’t see you as you walk
by to adjust the temperature setting.   

     Mumford Pickens says, “A well-trained and experienced urologist is full of whiz-dom.”

     This column donates its proceeds and joins with the Columbus News-Report’s own continuing support
of our troops.


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Bob Simpson
Largo, Florida
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