Country Humor
The most humorous newspaper column in the known world.
                                    Hogspore Community News
                                                      Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson
                                                        Hogspore celebrates Earth Day

   We celerbrated Earth Day Saturday. The menfolk went around town repairing and shoring up old tree
houses. The womenfolk worked in the community garden behind City Hall. Most everybody did something
to celerbrate Earth Day except for the ladies from the Church of Lower Hogspore. They met
in the fellowship hall to hold a two-hour gossip session. They offered up that it was eco-friendly to discuss
the town dirt.

   Sometime drug companies run a new alert for an old drug. Usually, it just goes with the old warning but
sometimes it turns up in a cute jingle. Here’s the latest vague tidings I heard for Ibuprofen.

   “Ibuprofen on the Railroad”

   Ibuprofen on the railroad all the livelong day.
   Ibuprofen on the railroad, hope my headache goes away.
   Can’t you see the TIA a flashing
   Rise up so early in the morn.
   Can’t you hear the paramedics shouting
   Ambulance, blow your horn.

   Ambulance, won’t you blow,
   Ambulance, won’t you blow,
   Ambulance, won’t you blow your horn.

   Ambulance, won’t you blow,
   Ambulance, won’t you blow,
   Ambulance, won’t you blow your horn.

   Someone’s in ICU with a CVA.
   Someone’s  in the ICU … oh no.
   Someone’s in ICU a hemorrhaging
   Giving a last breath, heave ho.

   Singin' medical fee, fie, fiddly co-pay
   Fee, fie, fiddly-i-a-a-a-a
   Fee, fie, fiddly-i-a
   It’s my final day.

   Last Sunday, Kim Jong Un of North Korea, fired a missile that immediately failed. Now he’s experiencing
the embarrassment of PD, Projectile Dysfunction.   

   This column donates its proceeds and joins with the Columbus News-Report’s own continuing support
of our troops.


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Bob Simpson
Largo, Florida
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