Country Humor
The most humorous newspaper column in the known world.
                                    Hogspore Community News
                                                         Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson
                                                  It's best not to reflect on your past deeds

    Mumford Pickens says, “It’s best not to reflect on your past cause if you didn’t do much of anything
you’re gonna be disappointed and if you did a whole lotta of things and did what you wanted to do, then
just thinking about them is gonna make you too tired.”

    Me and Punkin was in church Sunday and Preacher was ranting about something that actually kept me
awake. His sermon was about when a bad thing happens, there’s always a few hints before it occurs. Your
truck gets harder to start until the battery finally goes dead. The brakes start screeching metal against
metal before the expensive-to-replace rotors are ruined. Your wife starts dating other men
before she leaves you.         

    Preacher even gave an example from the Bible. The first sign that there was trouble outside of Paradise
was when Abel told his mother Eve that, “Cain is picking on me again.”

    There’s an update to an old game that folks play with their babies here in Hogspore. Here’s the
new version: This Little Piggy went to Wal-Mart. This Little Piggy suffered from Debilitating Agoraphobia.
This Little Piggy had roast beef and this Little Piggy was a Vegan. And, this Little Piggy protested everything
alllllll the way home.

    Congratulations to the owners and staff of the Columbus News-Report for winning the 2016 Columbus
Chamber of Commerce Business of the Year.

    This column donates its proceeds and joins with the Columbus News-Report’s own continuing support
of our troops.


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Bob Simpson
Largo, Florida
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