The most humorous newspaper column in the known world.
Hogspore Community News
Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson
People in Middle Ages got more free time
I hope you enjoyed the Labor Day weekend. It was a time to relax and enjoy your families, friends, and
Yesterday, Mumford Pickens was reflecting that back in the Middle Ages, the peasants got a lot more
free time than we do today here in America. Course, I ain’t learnt my lesson yet so I made him a twenty-
dollar bet that he was wrong. I’m twenty dollars poorer and Punkin’s mad at me for gambling.
It turns out that in the 1300’s most folks in England worked about 150 days a year. There were a lot of
celebrations, festivals, weddings, and funerals. That’s still more days than our 2015 Congress worked,
(only 132 days), and the Middle Ages peasants also had to deal with the Black Death that killed 20 million
I apologize for saying Congress don’t work much. If you count the hours spent on personal deals and
making money, they’re working all the time. They toil almost as much as an average farmer. Course, the
farmer don’t get near as dirty.
We got a message from Barkley Spellbetter, the Hogspore High principal. He welcomed back the
students to school, especially the returning seniors from last year due to multiple unfortunate scholastic
challenges. Barkley said, “It’s important to do better this year since most of you have the added
responsibility of caring for your new families that you accidentally started over the summer.”
Bickum’s Hardware is extending their Labor Day Customer Appreciation Sale through the rest of this
week. Junior Bickum said, “It’s our way of saying thank you to our customers.” When he says stuff like
that, it makes me realize how good the man and his family are for providing the opportunity to buy things
Here’s an update on the Meals on Trays program. There were’t no delivery yesterday cause of the
hollerday. You shut-ins are gonna be glad that you’re extra hungry after no food for three days. Ginger
Snap, the mule that delivers the hot meals throughout Hogspore, is delivering an extra helping of mashed
taters and roast beef along with a slab of pecan pie made by the church ladies of the Everlasting Gospel
of the Good Book. The Meals on Trays folks want you to know that the next time there’s gonna be a
Monday hollerday, they will be handing out diet pills on Friday for you.
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